Friday, January 9, 2015

Be More Sociable in 2015


In the numerous published lists of Common New Year's Resolutions, you will not spot "Being Sociable" in the Top 10.  Yet I believe most people desire a better social life than they will  admit. I've even had an increased number of people contact me for social confidence coaching this first week of the year.

Over the years, I've noticed that many people approach others with a warmth the first week of January. They make eye contact, they smile, they initiate small talk.  And I believe that it's because in addition to those common New Year's resolutions that many of us aspire--a desire to get healthy, become debt-free, and advance in our career, we also desire to be successful at socially relating to others. But unfortunately, as the newness of the new year wears off after the first few weeks, so do these social skills.

So how how do you keep the warmth towards others throughout the year? With intentionality. Taking the initiative to be the first to make friendly eye contact, smile, and say hello are actions that don't come automatically for many of us.  Just as you have to be intentional if you want to better manage your finances or get healthy, you have to be intentional about being sociable. It's not going to happen on its own.  It's just easier to go about our day with our head down, going where we need to go and doing what we need to do.  

Before you walk into the office, grocery store, bank, an appointment or a party, take a few moments to stop and think about how you're going to present yourself. Remind yourself to suspend thinking about all of the problems and worries in your own world, and portray a cheerful demeanor with others:  warm eye contact with a smile, and a friendly hello.  Not only will you notice a return of unexpected warmth from many others, but you'll surprisingly feel better about yourself.